The Future Can Be Regenerative
The future is bright. A reflection on the inaugural SELF Boys' Camp 2024
This wasn’t the post I had prepared for this week.
I’ll save the post on the one about the ‘New EQ’ for another week because this one is demanding my attention and feels more important to channel onto the page.
As I sit here on the sofa in the comfort of home, I’m reflecting on the last three days of the inaugural SELF Camp for boys organised by Indigo Brave.
I feel moved to get my thoughts and feelings out ‘on paper’. It’s part of my rest, recovery, and recharging process for this morning.
Today I am physically and emotionally exhausted from one of the most uplifting professional experiences of recent years. I wouldn’t swap the experience or the afterglow for anything.
From seeing 10 young men between the ages of 13 and 14 arrive on Friday, on a farm in the middle of the Derbyshire countryside, in varying states of anxiety, anger, shyness and uncertainty to watching them depart on the following Sunday afternoon with more self-belief, self-acceptance and open-hearted creativity energy and love for themselves and each other, I am deeply touched.
The Lessons That Change Us, If We Let Them
It bucketed down with rain like a scene from Jurassic Park for the majority of the weekend. Despite this, we managed to build a tipi together, cook together, eat together, clean up together, learn bushcraft skills together and share in life-affirming and life-changing conversations in circles under canvas.
We laughed.
Oh my goodness, how we laughed at the unchained, biting and lightning-fast quips and jokes delivered with a searing truth and earthiness that only young men enjoying and exploring being in each other’s company can.
I almost blushed.
The howls and squeals of laughter that reverberated through camp will remain an abiding memory with me.
We argued too, vigorously, and with an electric energy that bristled through the woodland air around us. And it was refreshing to see everyone, to a man (and I use that word deliberately) respond with a maturity way beyond their years.
This is possible when young men and their truth are witnessed without judgment and without the usual pressure to conform or be controlled.
They were raw.
They were creative.
They were powerful and energetic.
And they are beautiful.
And…they reminded me of me at their age.
We Are Regenerative. It Is Our Natural State
Sir Ken Robinson and Seth Godin (among others) have both spoken passionately about the considerable disservice we all do to young people in a large proportion of our formative education system, particularly in Western-style economies.
This disservice continues into much of our tertiary education and out into our professional lives and culture.
We have to learn to have the patience and courage to listen to our young people, let them make mistakes, hear their truth without judgment, and let them change our world perspective.
Based on this weekend’s first-hand experience, I’m convinced this is the path to improving our lives and the lives of others.
Our negative bias and our conditioning help us to focus predominantly on the things any young man from the SELF camp would unflinchingly describe as “fucked up” and wrong with the world.
But here’s the thing.
It isn’t.
It most definitely isn’t.
When we reconnect with each other, when we witness each other’s truth and do the work necessary - the inner work - and suspend our judgement, when we take our place in nature, however disorienting that experience might be, to begin with, we regenerate ourselves and each other.
If we see each other as the perfect human beings that we are and are willing to witness and amplify the gifts that each of us brings, in whatever small way we can, then the needle moves.
More importantly, it moves only in the direction of better and can only slip back if we slip back into our habits and conditioned patterns of thinking.
This is regenerative leadership and this is why it matters.
I am not a parent and there is no judgement on all those parents, guardians and caregivers who do the work. They are often physically and emotionally exhausted too and I now have more appreciation of why that is.
The point of the post is a reflection on those I have chosen - consciously or otherwise - not to witness, the ones we choose to characterise as unimportant or as an impediment in the way of getting what we want or as someone we can use to get what we want.
You can’t see a rainbow without rain is a metaphor that rang true on so many levels this weekend.
I am grateful beyond words for what these young people and my fellow SELF Camp facilitators have taught me about them, and perhaps most importantly, about myself.
To find out more about what SELF Camps are, please visit the dedicated website here.
To find out more about the work the Indigo Brave undertakes with individuals and teams, consider visiting their website.
An Afterthought.
So I’m wondering…who might you choose to witness this week to hear their truth without judgment and filters?
Pick someone you might not normally take the time with and see if the needle moves.
Let me know what happens in the comments.
Have a fantastic week, whatever you get up to.
Lovely Paul! This, of course, makes me think of my sons...
Thank you for this great work!
Beautiful reflections thanks for sharing 🙏🏻✨